Every time I tell my ABM friends that I’m going to talk to Jessy Hodges they get incredibly excited for me because I will get to be in the company of a person they think is amazing. The reaction is the same from all of them, and despite myself, I cannot with a clear conscience say that they’re wrong. She never holds my VivSter leanings against me, and will always end up saying something to make me laugh.

When you talk to Jessy you cannot deny that she is someone who embraces every opportunity and would make you smile every time she opened her mouth to speak. I am more than a little concerned about the rather glaring omissions in her viewing history, but you know, no one’s perfect.

1.       Have you ever broken a bone?

Jessy: No!
ABMFans: You’re not clumsy then or you’re just high in calcium?
Jessy: I’m very graceful!
ABMFans: Well, someone has to be.

2.       What is your earliest memory?

Jessy: A nightmare. There was a huge bird with huge talons circling my block and these boys had it on a leash, and the bird saw me and plunged down at me and I dove out of the way and it smashed into my lawn. When I looked back only the talons were there sticking out of the grass and the boys ran away crying. When I woke up I remember telling my mom we had to go outside so I could show her the bird on the lawn.
ABMFans: Whoa. I’m kind of scared of birds.
Jessy: Yeah weird huh.
ABMFans: Who needs early memories of running around in the park or making a mess in a kitchen when you have nightmares about giant birds!

3.       What’s your favourite James Bond movie?

Jessy: Never seen one!
ABMFans: Excuse me?
Jessy: I know, it’s weird. None of the series. Star Trek. Indiana Jones.
ABMFans: Star Wars? Rocky?
Jessy: Yeah I’ve seen some Star Wars. No Rocky.
ABMFans: Some Star Wars?
Jessy: I spend my time watching depressing classics, no action.
ABMFans: Um do Meredith, Rachael, or Nicole know this?
Jessy: You know what, just because this cast is full of huge dweebs doesn’t mean I have to be one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can tell those dorks I said it!
ABMFans: Oh don’t worry, they’ll find out.
Jessy: Ha ha ha.
ABMFans: I am shocked.
Jessy: Actually, they totally know this about me. I don’t do sci-fi. I don’t do action.
ABMFans: And they haven’t chained you to a chair and made you watch?
Jessy: Now they will.
ABMFans: And your life will be the better for it! You’ve got to at least watch ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark.’ That’s Indiana Jones by the way.
Jessy: Yeah I’ve been meaning to actually. I don’t want to watch Indiana Jones. Ha ha! I mean do. Freudian slip.
ABMFans: Hmm.

4.       What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Jessy: God, all of them. I guess when I worked at this bar in Brooklyn and a guy threatened to kill me and Wesley Snipes tipped me under 15%.
ABMFans: What did you do? Water his drink down or something?
Jessy: No I just looked at him. He was clinically insane.
ABMFans: Clearly.

5.       Alright, I’m guessing the answer to this next one won’t be Wesley Snipes…When were you most starstruck?

Jessy: Frances McDormand came to see a play that I was in because she was friends with one of the actors and she came up to me after and said, “Hi, I’m Fran, I loved the show.” And I said (and I quote), “I know who you are, you’re my favourite.”
ABMFans: Awww.
Jessy: And now she has a restraining order against me.
ABMFans: But at least she knows who you are!
Jessy: Ha ha!
ABMFans: Think positive.

6.       Do you have any phobias?

Jessy: Ummm I have a problem with being physically uncomfortable, like I freak out if there’s a weird seam in my underwear, or if I can’t get a sweater unzipped. If I’m cold I’m FREEZING and if I’m hot I’m BOILING but no REAL phobias; though I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan of seaweed.
ABMFans: How’s that going living on a coast where people actually go to the beach?
Jessy: Ha, the sun is always in my eyes! It makes me feel like I’m imploding. I just have very little patience for physical discomfort, though I would say my pain tolerance is quite high. It’s weird, I’m a weirdo, I don’t know.
ABMFans: Life’s more fun with a few eccentricities.

7.       Do you have a nickname? And if you could have another one, what would it be?

Jessy: Yeah Jessy.
ABMFans: Lol so you’re a Jessica?
Jessy: You betcha.
ABMFans: Awesome, my favourite goddaughter’s a Jessica. But she’s a Jessie.
Jessy: Yeah, I was that once, and then I decided I like ‘y’ better. This was when I was like seven mind you.
ABMFans: Yeah she’s a very precocious five.
Jessy: Cute!

8.       How do you take your tea/coffee?

Jessy: I drink a ton of coffee, cream no sugar. Tea only when I feel guilty for drinking so much coffee, then with honey.
ABMFans: Is it only us Brits who drink tea with milk?
Jessy: Ummm I think widely yes. Though you see people do it on occasion. I was just thinking about that. I’ll put milk in Chai Tea or something spicy like that.
ABMFans: Mitch puts milk in his tea, I just checked. I knew one of you had to.

9.       What would the title of your autobiography be?

Jessy: I love playing this game. I was just making up autobiography titles with a friend. You can go on forever.
ABMFans: I feel I would be bad at that game.
Jessy: Big Hair, Bigger Booty – The Jessy Hodges Story. “Jessy Hodges – Well that was Interesting.” From Rags to Rags, the Anticlimactic Life of Jessy Hodges.
ABMFans: Yeah, you would kick my ass in that game.
Jessy: Inappropriate Singing – A Public Account of Jessy Hodges. Ha I could go on and on.
ABMFans: You could have an anthology.
Jessy: I should make a career out of writing peoples autobiography titles.
ABMFans: Someone has that job. Problem is trying to get hired to do it.
Jessy: Yeah I think you might have to write other things too. That would be the problem.
ABMFans: Damn.
Jessy: How about: “That’s What She Said; The Jessy Hodges Story.”
ABMFans: I like it.

10.    Which show do you wish was still on the air?

Jessy: Ally McBeal. I know that’s weird.
ABMFans: No, I understand.
Jessy: Also Seinfeld.
ABMFans: I loved that show right up until they killed Billy.
Jessy: Sooooooo good.
ABMFans: That episode broke my heart. Not as much as ABM’s S2 finale…but you know, heartbreaking all the same.

11.    How old do you feel?

Jessy: Ha. Ummm that’s a good question. I think I feel my age because I always feel way younger or way older than I actually am, and I feel like that’s absolutely a product of being in your twenties.
ABMFans: I would agree with you on that one.

12.    What word do you most overuse?

Jessy: Unprecedented.
ABMFans: Oooh good word.
Jessy: I use it in the wrong context all the time because I just love that word.
ABMFans: Yeah it’s not one that you normally find being worked into everyday conversation.
Jessy: Ha and yet I find a way in for it!
ABMFans: And I hope you continue to do so.