I ♥ ABM

By Gemma Jacob

Knowing that when I was in New York I would be meeting Susan Miller and Tina Cesa Ward had me at my most nervous. I had the normal fear over meeting new people, people who only knew me online and who I had only actually spoken to briefly on a call in show where I berated them for the way they ended Season Two of ABM. I had the added fear that…well, it was Susan Miller and Tina Cesa Ward! The goddesses of ABM. They were responsible for creating the show that I love and which I had gone completely over the top about for the better part of a year.

A dozen questions had been pacing around my head in the lead up to my trip. What on earth would I talk to them about? Sure there was always ABM, and I think it’s kind of obvious that I’m a fan, but I’d like to think there was more to me. But would they really want to hear about my comic collection and my obsession with the Food Channel? Would I even be able to talk? I have a history of becoming an inarticulate oaf when faced with people of this magnitude and it is in no way endearing. Most uncharacteristically, I found myself being very indecisive over what I would wear. It would obviously be a jeans and a t-shirt combination, but what shirt? My ABM shirt? Something smart? Something funny? I spoke to a few of my friends about my trepidation and it wasn’t until I brought up the clothing issue that they understood how genuinely nervous I was. This was a big deal.

I had been e-mailing Tina and Susan on the lead up to my trip and we had agreed to meet on my first full day in the city as neither of them would both be around on any of the other days I was there. Trying to be as accommodating as I could I told them I was good with the subway so I could be anywhere they needed me to be whenever they needed me to be there. Susan had responded to say that “they’ll come to us” since I was staying in her neighbourhood. They? What they? If I hadn’t had other things to worry about this is when I would have allowed myself to be more suspicious and play detective a bit more. However, I had other issues (including my outfit) on my mind.

The morning came and thanks to jet-lag and my usual sleep deprivation induced exhaustion the nerves had not kept me up so I felt rested. I had finally decided what to wear – I had chosen not to go with the ABM shirt, but a shirt that they would definitely identify with me and that I thought was sufficiently cool. I started to walk to where we’d arranged to meet. Of course I had left earlier than I needed to because I am just one of these people for whom punctuality is not enough – they have to be early, and because of the rain I was walking at an unnecessarily speedy pace and I realised about three blocks in that I was going to be ridiculously early. So I slowed down and tried to do as much browsing in stores that a person who doesn’t like to shop can do. I still managed to get there twenty minutes before I needed to be.

I decided to go into the cafe we were meeting in. Normally I would have just waited outside for them but it was starting to rain more heavily and I wanted to at least create the illusion that I was a grown-up and go inside and get us a table. I went inside, got a table for three, and begun to wait. At least we were having brunch, this would negate some of the issues I’d had about ordering. I am not a wine drinker and I can’t help but feel like a kid when I am having a meal with someone and the waiter asks if I would like a drink, meaning alcohol, and I just look at them and ask for a Sprite. They tend to get a rather condescending oh-you-don’t-eat-out-often-enough-to-know-how-to-order-a-grown-up-drink-look about them.

After about 10 minutes of staring at the menu and cursing my need to be on time I spotted someone familiar shaking off their umbrella in the doorway. If I hadn’t known who she was the ABM button she wore in the same place I wear my ‘I ♥ ABM’ button would have been a dead giveaway. Tina had arrived. We quickly hugged and sat down and begun to talk. As the conversation flowed I’d forgotten to even ask myself what exactly it was I had been afraid of.

We had started to talk about the storms that had recently hit the city and had welcomed me on my flight in but thankfully had decided to allow me to land when I looked up and recognised another face. I stood up almost as a reflex at the sight of the person walking through the door and prepared to give a hug to my one-time co-star. I couldn’t help but smile, “I know that guy!” I know he’s heard many people say that as they bump into him on the street. Joshua Holland. Finally I got to see him in his city rather than mine. I was starting to understand what Susan had meant by saying “they” could come to us.

I was beginning to worry that our table wouldn’t be big enough but Josh said that he was only passing through on his way to that stuff he plays at doing when he’s not working on ABM. Okay, I was thrown again by the “they” comment, perhaps it was just me reading too much into things, but then Susan was never one to use a word incorrectly. Curiouser and curiouser. Anyway, I got back to enjoying Tina and Josh’s company. Tina had asked me what it was I had planned whilst I was in New York and I was literally half way through saying, “I’m meeting –” And guess who walks through the door? “…her later. I am meeting her.”

If getting up to greet Josh was a reflex action, then hugging who just walked through the door was pure instinct. I didn’t have to think about it. I was up and out of that chair with my arms open. And there was that smile. Rachael Hip-Flores. If I had any residual fear over meeting Tina and Susan having Rachael there completely dissolved it. That girl, she always knows when to save me. Also, she is incredibly sneaky because I’d been messaging her since I landed and she acted as though she had no idea I was even meeting Tina and Susan. Upon seeing another person join our table the hostess asked me how many people we were expecting and I simply had to look at her and say, “I have absolutely no idea.”

Slowly my nerves started to lessen, mostly due to the fact that Tina and Susan are as lovely as I had always imagined them to be, also partly due to the geek sat next to me busy enjoying her French toast and bacon. I’d like to say that for the next few hours I verbally chastised both Tina and Susan, who arrived some time after Josh had to leave, for the emotional state they had left me and many others in after the S2 finale. Heaven knows they’d deserve it. I’d like to say that I grilled them for every last bit of information about what they have planned for the show. I would like to be able to tell you about anything we talked about, only I can’t remember much of it. Having the writers and director, let alone one of the stars, of a show I have come to love sat at my table talking to me like I was another of their friends having brunch…it’s still hard to get my head around. I hope I can be forgiven for not remembering details. As with most times in my life that have brought the biggest smiles, I can recall moments and not much more.

I know that I was trying to maintain a semblance of calm whilst inside I was jumping up and down at how surreal my life had become. I remember trying to explain what it is I actually do when I’m not “working” for ABM and talk of spending $4m on renaming a bridge. I remember deliberately not looking at Rachael when she kept nudging me as I asked our server for a cup of “English Breakfast tea.” I knew she wouldn’t let me get away with that one. I may have fallen head over heels for this city but there are some things this Brit won’t adopt, American coffee being one of them. I remember there were questions that I planned to ask but never came to mind. I remember feeling like a kid on Christmas morning as Susan asked Tina’s permission to tell Rachael and me that we were going to get five episodes of S3 – possibly one of the best Christmas presents ever.

The people of ABM have never had any reason to treat me any differently than they do any of their other fans. Sure I tweet a little bit more than most and I have no reservations about filling up my Facebook wall with anything related to the show. I created this site, but there are other sites that people have created for the show too. I do what I can for the show, for these people, and a lot of the time I wish I could do more. They have always been extremely understanding of my kind of fanaticism. For them to take time out of their day to see this random person who kind of just went a little bit nuts over their show means more than I will ever be able to articulate, perhaps that’s why I have no words to say what happened when I finally got to meet them.

I think my answer to the hostesses’ earlier question, as did the whole meeting, sums up quite adequately my relationship with ABM – the show and the people. I have absolutely no idea what to expect, only I know that it will be wonderful. I may face it with some fear and trepidation because I am not sure what is in store for me, but I should have more faith because I have never been disappointed. There is no point in me trying to figure out what is going to happen because they will surprise me at every turn, and even when I guess right they will lie to my face and tell me I am wrong. So I wait eagerly, knowing that when it finally arrives I will be able to do nothing but smile and be incredibly grateful that this is my life.