Having performed surprisingly…well, appallingly, during her first sitting in the ABM Mastermind chair Susan Miller had everything to prove when she signed up for the Ultimate Mastermind Challenge. With all eyes on her and the events of Season 3 occupying space in her brain, would the pressure be too much for the ABM goddess?

With Tina Cesa Ward once again sitting atop the Mastermind Scoreboard, would anyone be able to topple her? Could Susan be the one to do it? I had every faith that Susan would redeem herself; I was much more interesting in how many times she would curse me out for the questions I was asking. Always so much more fun when you’re the one asking the questions.

Stepping into the ring with her is ABM Fan, Arika Wade. A consistent scorer in previous Mastermind rounds and a long-time ABM fan I knew that she would make a worthy opponent. She had heeded my advice and studied for her turn in the chair, however having had a late night before, how would that affect her performance?

Would this be the round in which an ABM Fan would cause an upset or would Susan simply leave upset? In Round 4 of the Ultimate Mastermind Challenge, how well does anyone know their ABM?

1.       What were the first lines of the premiere episode?

Susan: We went down to Battery Park.
ABMFans: A little bit more…
Susan: She was so beautiful. I couldn’t look at her.
(Several hours later):
Susan: I swear I did not look up anything…but just now a light bulb went off and I realized that in ep 1 pilot… Viv says…re Aster, “She looked…amazing.” Not beautiful…but the reason I got it wrong is way back when Tina and I had a discussion where I wanted to say beautiful…but I changed it to amazing. Damn. Also I forgot, “We went down to Battery Park. The sun was shining. She looked amazing.” See, hard under pressure.

Arika: Okay I know this…”We went down to battery park. The sun was setting. She looked amazing…but I could barely look at her…”
ABMFans: See, told you you’d do fine.

Susan: Correct. Half a point.
Arika: Correct.

2. How many episodes have Susan Miller and Tina Cesa Ward co-written?

Susan: I need a minute. I don’t keep count of that…can we come back. I know it; just have to add it up.
ABMFans: We can come back.
(Comeback answer…)
ABMFans: Alright, now back to the ones you needed time on. 2. How many episodes have Susan Miller and Tina Cesa Ward co-written?
Susan: Only way to do this is if I write it out now…that okay?
ABMFans: Go ahead.
Susan: S1 1 us. S1 ep2 – us, S1 ep3 us S1 ep 4 – Tina, S1 ep 5 – us, ep6 – us – ep 7 us – ep8? ep 9 us Ep 10 – Susan. S2 – ep 1 me, ep2 Tina, ep 3 us, ep 4 me, ep5 us, ep 6 me ep 7 – us, ep 9 us, ep 10 me. So I have to remember s1, ep 8 it is either us or Tina…one minute. It’s US. Did you go away and take a nap?
ABMFans: No just enjoying your thought process. So let’s see…11.
Susan: What?
ABMFans: 11eps you’ve co-written is your answer.
Susan: I think that adds up to 12, please check math.
ABMFans: You’re right, 12. Okay, last one you wanted to come back to as you did the playlist one.
ABMFans: How many episodes do not have the theme song playing over the end credits?
Susan: Four.
ABMFans: Final answer? You don’t want to maybe write them down…
Susan: Actually, let me write them down…then I will know for sure. Vivian and Aster. I need more time. It is either 4 or 5.
ABMFans: Take your time.
Susan: I want to go back a minute – number of eps Tina and I wrote…just remembered…s2 ep 5, she wrote… so it would be 11!
ABMFans: Okay.

Arika: Um…I’m going to take a wild guess and say…16. I know that was wrong!

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

3. Which class is Vivian trying to find when she first meets Archibald?

Susan: Literature/English.
ABMFans: A particular type of Literature…
Susan: American.

Arika: Her English class.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

4. What state is Aster’s fake driver’s licence from?

Susan: I know this…one min. Montana.
ABMFans: Nicole is going to be really disappointed people are getting that answer. promised her a prize if no one else got it.

Arika: Connecticut..I think.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

5. What are the directions Vivian gives Archibald to get to The Public Theatre?

Susan: Take the downtown R to 8th street.
ABMFans: Do you know the line or do you know the directions?
Susan: I f*cking know the line! I wrote it.
ABMFans: Just checking…either works.

Arika: Take the bus to 8th street….don’t remember.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

6. Sophie lists five artists on her playlist. Name three of them:

Susan: Okay I did not look at the interludes again…I really thought this was about full eps…so I have to come back to this. Lady Gaga was def one of them.
ABMFans: You may want to come back to the next two questions then…

Arika: Ingrid Michaelson, Sarah McLachlan, and Kelly Clarkson.

Susan: Correct (see response to Q8).
Arika: Incorrect.

7. On what days does Elisabeth listen to Lauryn Hill’s ‘That Thing’?

ABMFans: Did you study?
Susan: What I did was watch all the full eps from our first two seasons…because I had not done so in a very very long time. But I didn’t look at interludes. And it doesn’t seem fair, my friend…but put these interlude sh*tty questions about teenage music on hold…Elis listens when she’s feeling down basically.
ABMFans: It’s all ABM. You’ll hate this next question, but it’s the least interlude one but not necessarily the last non-episode based question.
Susan: Ok, but let me come back to those questions…I can try to remember.

Arika: On days where she’s feeling less than fly.

Susan: Correct (see response to Q8).
Arika: Incorrect.

8. What is the name of the teacher whose class Aster does a video essay for?

Susan: Aretha Franklin, Peaches – Sophie. And Elizabeth when she feel ordinary. Okay, wait I lost my place. Question 8 video essay — I wrote this too so I should know it better than playlists…I know the books she talks about Salinger and ‘Heather has Two Mommies’…but she calls the teacher by his first name cause its a private school. How do you like this dancing around the subject….Mr. Rebicki….my son’s high school coach.
ABMFans: See you and Tina have secret reasoning behind the names of the teachers, this is why you remember. But very impressive. Not saying how well you’re doing, but it’s better than before you’ll be happy to know.

Arika: No clue. I only watched the interludes once.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

9. Who are Vivian and Sophie playing in the run through of ‘The Seagull’ in the Season 2 finale?

Susan: Viv is playing Trigorin and Sophie is Nina.

Arika: Jebourne and Nina.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct. Half a point.

10. If Vivian is the “fierce lesbian journalist,” what is Archibald?

Susan: The little black dude with drawing powers…

Arika: The black dude with the super drawing powers.

Susan: Incorrect.
Arika: Correct.

11. At which intersection is Aster standing at when she calls Vivian at the start of episode 2 of Season 1?

Susan: 125th Street.
ABMFans: And…
Susan: Amsterdam/Broadway – railroad station.

Arika: East 125th and Park Avenue…I seem to remember a MLK sign to.

Susan: Incorrect.
Arika: Correct.

12. What poster is on the wall of Aunt Jodie’s office?

Susan: The Smiths.

Arika: The Smiths.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct.

13. Which engine company was Gabe with when he was a fire fighter?

Susan: No.10.
ABMFans: See, that was in an episode right? Tina wasn’t sure.
Susan: Yes, Jodie and Gabe were in the basement and he was deciding what jobs he could apply for.
ABMFans: Okay, see I knew I didn’t make that up.

Arika: 1st company.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

14. Which homeroom are Vivian, Elisabeth, and Sophie in?

Susan: Mrs. Lanahan.

Arika: Mrs. Lynn.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

15. In which episode does ABM’s intern, Meredith King, make a cameo appearance?

ABMFans: The first time.

Susan: Quickly to the Exits, I think…do you need the number?
ABMFans: Nope, episode number or title works for the points.

Arika: Wild guess here – Girl Talk.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Incorrect.

16. What is the name of the taxi company Aunt Jodie uses in her role playing exercise with Gabe to help him in his job applications?

Susan: Sh*t…give me a sec. I know it.
ABMFans: Take as long as you need.
Susan: Sunshine.

Arika: Sunshine Taxi.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct.

17. How old was Vivian when Sophie was “a part of her confusion”?

Susan: 12.

Arika: 12.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct.

18. What song does Rachael Hip-Flores sing in the ‘ABM: By Request’ video for the web-a-thon?

Susan: It’s a Spanish song…give me a sec. Cuando los Sapos Bien Flamenco…??
ABMFans: Maybe…
Susan: Cuando Los Sapos Bailen Flamenco?

Arika: “Cuando es Bailen Los Flamenco.” Something like that.
ABMFans: Impressive. You definitely studied.

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct.

19. How many episodes do not have the theme song playing over the end credits?

Susan: 3 or 4…can I come back to this also?
ABMFans: Yes you can.
Susan: I would say 4 or 5, actually…still coming back.
(Comeback answer…)
ABMFans: How many episodes do not have the theme song playing over the end credits?
Susan: Four.
ABMFans: Final answer? You don’t want to maybe write them down…
Susan: Actually, let me write them down…then I will know for sure. Vivian and Aster. I need more time. It is either 4 or 5.
ABMFans: Take your time.
Susan: I am going to say 5 eps.
ABMFans: Final answer?
Susan: Stop that. It signals I’m wrong…how much time must I take? God.
ABMFans: Just checking you are comfortable with your answers.
Susan: Five what the hell.

Arika: Six I believe.

Susan: Incorrect.
Arika: Incorrect.

20. Pick a number from one to twenty.

Susan: Huh?
ABMFans: There’s a follow on part.
Susan: Okay….4.
ABMFans: What was the name of that episode?
Susan: You mean episodes? There were more than one without theme song…but I will tell you a couple of them.
ABMFans: Huh?
Susan: Vivian and Aster – Ep4 — Just say When.
ABMFans: This is a different question.
Susan: Last ep of Season One — We’re the Rebels. Take me back, you are losing me…what question are we at?
ABMFans: We’ve moved on from the theme song one.
Susan: Oh, I get it…title of an episode…but which season? S2 ep 4 is Girl Talk.
ABMFans: That would be 14, so S1.
Susan: S1 Ep 4 is Vivian and Aster.

Arika: 14. It’s my favourite number.
ABMFans: What was the name of that episode?
Arika: Episode 14 was um Girl Talk…I feel like I’ve guessed that a lot!
ABMFans: Well hopefully the times you have, you’ve gotten it right!
Arika: I really hope so!

Susan: Correct.
Arika: Correct.

ABMFans: Alright. All done. See, that wasn’t so painful that time.
Susan: Did I complete the answers re music on playlists? I think I did, but just checking.
ABMFans: You did indeed.
Susan: I’m exhausted.
ABMFans: Just think…you never have to do that again. And I’m not giving you your score, but you’ve definitely done better than last time. And you’re not last. You have redeemed yourself!
Susan: I better be far ahead of last!
ABMFans: You don’t know how well the others know their ABM…
Susan: Only the math questions were ridiculous. I can give you titles of songs, quote lines, etc. not good at math.
ABMFans: There was one question about math.
Susan: No. There were two big ones. How many eps did T and I write together and how many eps without our theme music.
ABMFans: Ahh okay, well you did very well. Definitely most improved I reckon.
Susan: HAH! Is there an award for that?
ABMFans: There may be.

In perhaps the biggest upset since a young upstart named Cassius Clay beat Sonny Liston, we have a new ABM Mastermind Champion for the first time since Tina Cesa Ward took the throne. Susan has perhaps surpassed all expectation and has a more than comfortable lead. With only Rachael Hip-Flores left to challenge Susan, do we already have our Ultimate Mastermind Champion? The contest is drawing to an end, when the smoke clears who will be the victor? And more importantly, what will be the spoils of war?