One Reigns Supreme

By Gemma Jacob

With the sound of the final buzzer the Anyone But Me Ultimate Mastermind Championship 2011 comes to a close, and we have a Champion. Yes, after a hard fought battle and from what I am told, hours spent studying, Susan “Mad Dog” Miller has claimed the right to run around ABM’s set with her arms in the air, waving her trophy, declaring, “I am the Champion!!!” Please, if anyone gets footage of her actually doing this please pass it on.

In an impressive display of knowledge Susan has managed to snatch victory from all the naysayers who believed, following her less than impressive previous performance, that she could not do it. No one can doubt the 17.5 score that cemented her victory over the other combatants, with only Tina coming close to matching her point total. No one can claim that she did not deserve this sweetest of victories.

What of her opponents, were they as gracious in defeat as Susan will surely not be in victory? Having presented the runners up prizes to Rachael “Hit-Girl” Hip-Flores and Tina “The Slayer” Cesa Ward, their reactions were as expected. Tina hid her disappointment well, and I think that if she had to lose to someone then as long as it wasn’t one of those actors then she was happy with the result.

There was talk from Rachael about whether I trusted Susan had not had the episodes or other study aids open on her computer screen. Given that Rachael had witnessed first hand Susan’s original Mastermind performance, this accusation can be understood. However, I trust that Susan would not dishonour this contest with cheating, and Rachael was happy to learn she had beaten her fellow actors.

Unfortunately, Nicole ‘The Broadway Belter’ Pacent and Jessy ‘Heartbreaker’ Hodges were unavailable for comment on their placing at the bottom of the leader board. Nicole had thought her photographic memory would assist her, however it seems that her Montana driver’s licence was a well remembered prop. It is the participating that counts, however, especially when participation comes with prizes!

I am sure that Jessy’s fall from glory will not be taken well and I expect that should she accept future challenges she will strive to better her performance. There really is no way but up for her, well she could stay at the bottom but I am certain this is her Mastermind low-point. I think if she enhances her geek-ability she can claim her position back near the top of the leader board.

What these results mean for future contests I do not know. The burden now falls on Susan to defend her title, it is easy to win once, but can she hold onto the championship? With the likes of Tina and Rachael, and perhaps other ABMers, wanting the champion’s trophy on their mantelpiece the next battle could prove more ferocious than anything we’ve seen before.

And what of the fans? Unfortunately they were unable to match the ABM knowledge of the ABMers themselves, with only Shiran besting Jessy in the first round of the UMC. However, I think they did show the ABMers that the ABM Fans certainly know their ABM and that they should watch out in the future. Many many thanks to Shiran, Tricia, Maggie, and Arika for taking part and being such good sports, and also for actually studying (those of you that did). You shall all be receiving ABM goodies very soon!

For now, we will let Susan bask in the glory of her win. I give this warning though, no ABMer or ABM fan alike, should be complacent in their knowledge. Do not forget that there will be new material to learn, and now that I know just how deep the depths of the knowledge people hold, even more diabolical questions to answer, this is the Ultimate Challenge after all.